Tag Archives: Running

May14

Here I come!!!

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Playing_With_a_Fire_Bird_by_princess_phoenixFlights have been booked for me and Mama Jello. – We’re heading to Austin June 21 through the 23rd so that I can run the Keep Austin Weird 5k and carry Joey’s ashes to the finish line with me. Which means I have a finish line to reach, on an actual day just over a month away!  I know it’s going to be a very emotional run for me, but I also believe it will be healing.

Today at the gym, I found myself sandwiched between two other runners, and to be honest, at first I was a bit intimidated, but then I realized – I’m a runner, too! I may be slow; I may not be able to run as long or as far as these; but I am doing this. And it was so exhilarating to recognize that, and to hear Joey’s voice singing, “You have it, too; you have it, too; you have it, too…” Read the rest of this entry →

May3

Keep on spinnin’

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IMG_0553Yesterday, I took my first ever spin class. I’ll admit I wasn’t able to keep up entirely with the instructor, but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I managed to keep that wheel moving for 30 minutes. More than 24 hours later, my quads are still pretty sore, but in that really good, making-my-muscles-stronger kinda way. When the instructor called out, “And…that’s a workout!” I practically burst into tears of pride and joy. Working out is totally my therapy. It’s the way I keep taking one step (or one revolution) at a time.

Then yesterday afternoon I went to the salon to get my roots touched up and a trim, and I think this is the best my hair has looked, yet. But then, I think this might be the best I’ve looked in a long time, too. There’s still a lot of work to do, but isn’t that life? None of us ever arrive on this earth. We just keep taking one more step on the journey, hopefully moving toward a better us.

This isn’t a Joey post, I know. It’s a Sarah post. Because Sarah has to keep living. Joey is free.

Apr5

A funny thing happened on the way to becoming a runner

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yoga-for-runnersThe last time I attempted to become a runner, nearly a decade and a half ago, I did so on the advice of my cousin (though it may as easily have been G-ma speaking for her). I was told to keep going and eventually I would become so dependent on it that missing a run might make me grumpy. After a couple of months, I called her a liar (though not to her face – sorry, Tina). I still HATED running and looked for any excuse to miss a run.

So imagine my surprise this time around, as I feel my legs just itching to get back on the treadmill, even though my head and throat are demanding I curl up in bed instead. It’s pretty exciting to feel this change taking place, and I must admit that I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping my momentum going.

But I have to recognize for a moment all the reasons why this time is so different. The major change is that now I have goals, running races, taking Joey’s ashes along and honoring his passion for life by pursuing my own. Technology is definitely in my corner now, too. The C25K (couch to 5k) app for iPhone is amazing. I can listen to my own playlist, but the app cuts in to let me know when to walk and when to run. It’s fantastic, and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to get started running. I also follow running magazines on Twitter and C25K on Facebook for encouragement and testimonials from other runners.

Ok, that’s probably more commercial than a blog about Joey Jello’s influence ever needed. I’m just amazed that this is happening. I’m becoming a runner!

(Maybe someday soon, I’ll even have my own running photo)

Mar21

The Sun Also Rises

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jello 2

Photo by John Curley

I’m halfway through week 2 of the 8-week Couch to 5K program now, and some interesting things are happening.

On my run/walk yesterday, I started out feeling like I couldn’t get enough air, but by the second running interval, I was feeling a bit better. And by the time I got to my final running interval, something amazing had happened. I actually felt, well…good. Like my body was working with me for once instead of against me.

It might be the only time in my life I can ever remember thinking that. Read the rest of this entry →

Mar13

Sweat & Tears

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IMG_0020You may have noticed I haven’t written in a while. Almost 3 weeks ago, I joined the local YMCA, and Noah has started soccer for the first time ever. Not to mention we’ve actually had some warmish weather which when you have 3 boys absolutely REQUIRES time outdoors. So, needless to say, it’s been busy around here.

But the good kind of busy. The busy that includes….duh, duh, da-duh!…starting running intervals! 

I’ll be honest, running for 60 seconds at a time is hard for me. I haven’t run since I was in high school, I think. But it’s so good, too. At the end of a session, when I’m still walking on the treadmill with sweat pouring down my face and music in my ears, I inevitably begin to cry. It’s not that I’m sad, though I am sad that Joey’s not here to see this. But I am overwhelmed with bittersweet pride that I am becoming a better version of me…because of him.

For me running, even in 60 second bursts, is the beginning of the Phoenix rising from the ashes. I have been in mourning; I am in mourning still, but there is hope, hope for the day when I run that first 5k race, Joey’s ashes around my neck, knowing that our adventures together aren’t over.

Dec20

She did it! Sarah did it!

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joey-thumbsNo, I haven’t run my first 5k, yet, but I did reach my first major fitness achievement of walking a total of 100 miles!

Maybe that doesn’t sound like much to some, but to me it’s an indication of sticking to something for once in my life. It’s about making good choices for myself, feeling strong and capable. It’s about doing life better.

As it happens, I hit my goal on Sunday, December 9th, which was also my 35th birthday. It’s certainly not the first birthday I’ve celebrated without my brother, considering it often fell during finals week while I was in college, and Joe had lived in Austin for the last 2 years. But there was no phone call, no text from him – even the next day, as he was apt to text me after I’d already gone to bed. I miss him terribly, but every day, I strive to live that much more purposefully because of him.

If I’m really honest, I must admit that Joey’s death knocked me down. I feel as though my worldview has been shattered in a way, and yet, as the pieces have fallen, they’ve found a new way to go back together that oddly makes much more sense and stands stronger against the winds of trial and tragedy.

Bad stuff happens. It happens to everyone – even me. I can let it kill my spirit, or I can choose to be stronger, to live better.

I choose to be better, to live fuller, and to love extravagantly. 

For me, getting fit is part of loving myself so that I have more love to give away. In January, I plan to join the local YMCA and start running and training in earnest for my first 5k. I know Joe would be proud of the physical accomplishments I’m making, but I think mostly he would be proud of the way I’m growing as a person. My 35th year saw the biggest challenges of my life so far, but I see year 36 getting better and better. Maybe by my 40th, I can take Joe for that sky-dive I’ve always dreamed of.

Sep17

Chumps Stay Home

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One of Joey’s friends said that he was always the one who did stuff and inspired other people to do stuff. He’d say, “I’m going on a ride.” And they might whine, “I’m tired” or “It’s too hot” or some other lame response. And he’d say, “Stay home, chumps. Chumps stay home.”

He challenged people to be better, but he didn’t push. He just had this essence that made you want to be more like him. I often found myself doing things with my little brother that I’d never consider doing with anyone else – like strapping myself into a metal cage attached to 30-ft cables and catapulted into the air like a slingshot (a ride at an amusement park), but somehow he made the decision to DO something the obvious choice. You always wanted him to respect you, not just because he was cool (although he was) but because you knew you would be a better person if you attacked life the way he did.

Over the last few years, I had grown sedentary in my life. Jobs I’d worked had required me to sit for long periods of time, and I’d gained quite a bit of weight as I’d become “fat & happy” with my husband and 3 kids. All attempts to lose weight for me had been about conforming to cultural norms, being accepted, or fitting in. But something happened to my thinking after Joey’s death. Read the rest of this entry →