I’ve often heard, and I suppose I believed that the first Christmas (or other major holiday you may celebrate) without someone you love is the hardest, but now I’m not sure that’s true.
Last Christmas, it had been 6 months since Joey’s death, and I missed him so much, but I feel like I was still just in shock so much that I couldn’t quite come to terms with the reality. I had started walking and set my goal to run a 5k in 2013, and these goals were so important for me to keep moving and taking breaths every day, but in some ways they were also a much needed distraction at the time.
This Christmas, however, I have felt the absence of Joey much worse. The permanence of death has set in, and the least of things has moved me to tears. Read the rest of this entry
What a yucky week we’ve had here. Last week I started out so strong, biking and running every day and feeling really good. Then Friday, one of my boys woke up with a cough, so I decided we should stay home and keep everyone else’s kids healthy. Of course, then Monday I woke up with a severe sore throat and congestion along with full body achi-ness. I’m feeling a bit better now, but everyone in the house has been fighting this crud, so we’ve been effectively benched.
I can’t believe this is who I am now, but a whole week without running has been unbearable! And I must admit I’ve been a little off my game with my eating as well. You know how it is when you’re sick – you just want comfort food. Read the rest of this entry
Yesterday, I took my first ever spin class. I’ll admit I wasn’t able to keep up entirely with the instructor, but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I managed to keep that wheel moving for 30 minutes. More than 24 hours later, my quads are still pretty sore, but in that really good, making-my-muscles-stronger kinda way. When the instructor called out, “And…that’s a workout!” I practically burst into tears of pride and joy. Working out is totally my therapy. It’s the way I keep taking one step (or one revolution) at a time.
Then yesterday afternoon I went to the salon to get my roots touched up and a trim, and I think this is the best my hair has looked, yet. But then, I think this might be the best I’ve looked in a long time, too. There’s still a lot of work to do, but isn’t that life? None of us ever arrive on this earth. We just keep taking one more step on the journey, hopefully moving toward a better us.
This isn’t a Joey post, I know. It’s a Sarah post. Because Sarah has to keep living. Joey is free.