Monthly Archives: October 2013

Oct31

Not who I used to be

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Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011

What a yucky week we’ve had here. Last week I started out so strong, biking and running every day and feeling really good. Then Friday, one of my boys woke up with a cough, so I decided we should stay home and keep everyone else’s kids healthy. Of course, then Monday I woke up with a severe sore throat and congestion along with full body achi-ness.  I’m feeling a bit better now, but everyone in the house has been fighting this crud, so we’ve been effectively benched.

I can’t believe this is who I am now, but a whole week without running has been unbearable! And I must admit I’ve been a little off my game with my eating as well. You know how it is when you’re sick – you just want comfort food. Read the rest of this entry →

Oct25

Alive!

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Joey’s “life is fun” smile

I debated sharing this very personal and very special moment I had Wednesday, but in the end I decided it’s all part of my journey. This blog is about being totally true to myself and sharing myself with my readers, and I can’t claim to “Never Betray” if I hold anything back.

So here goes. I’ve been in a really good place in the grief process over the last few months. I still miss Joey a ton, but I know that living my life well is really my only option. And I feel certain it’s exactly what Joe would want for me. So every day, I purpose to live this day to the best of my ability. I purpose to love on my husband and kids and really invest in them; I get active whenever possible; and I love, love, love people.

I’ve been doing cycle classes pretty regularly for a couple of months now, and it’s a workout I really enjoy. Makes me think I’ll be looking for a good bike in the near future.  And my fave instructor had played this song I just love a while back. It’s called Alive by Kim Walker (Jesus Culture).

Read the rest of this entry →

Oct22

Running Through Rainbows

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960014_10151896899044706_1688552814_n On Sunday, October 13th I ran The Color Run 5k with some friends. Since we’re all moms of twins, we dubbed our team the “Double Divas,” which we thought was a cute double entendre.

It was fun to actually run with some people for a change, but I must admit I was a bit disappointed in myself.  Since I discovered cycling classes, I’ve slacked off on my regular running, and it became apparent when I started too quick out of the gate and had to slow to a walk a few times throughout the race.  It’s not a timed race, and I didn’t time myself either, since I didn’t want to risk getting color on my phone.  But I think I made pretty decent time: at least under 45. Still, somehow I was left feeling less than good about myself.

Basically, I didn’t really feel all warm and fuzzy like someone who had been running through rainbows and hugging unicorns.  Read the rest of this entry →

Oct1

Ink it Up!

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Joey Jello on right

 

Since my latest tattoo, a person who cares a lot about me mentioned their concern that people would judge me because of my tattoos. Because of who this was, I knew that this concern was real and not a roundabout way of saying that this person was judging me. And I understood the concern because I remember thinking something similar when Joey showed up with the words NEVER BETRAY backwards on his neck – all I could think was that so many people would miss out on knowing my awesome brother because they would write him off as soon as they saw ink on his neck.

But then Joey died, and all these amazing people, many of whom had ink from head to toe and dressed and lived so differently from me, came out of the woodwork it seemed and cared for me and my family as though we were their family. Read the rest of this entry →