Tag Archives: Running

So long, 2013. It’s been swell.

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photo-5I’ve often heard, and I suppose I believed that the first Christmas (or other major holiday you may celebrate) without someone you  love is the hardest, but now I’m not sure that’s true.

Last Christmas, it had been 6 months since Joey’s death, and I missed him so much, but I feel like I was still just in shock so much that I couldn’t quite come to terms with the reality. I had started walking and set my goal to run a 5k in 2013, and these goals were so important for me to keep moving and taking breaths every day, but in some ways they were also a much needed distraction at the time.

This Christmas, however, I have felt the absence of Joey much worse. The permanence of death has set in, and the least of things has moved me to tears. Read the rest of this entry

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Perspective

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beofppDuring my run Monday I had a passing thought about what I look like when I run. It wasn’t a self-conscious thought. More of a curiosity. And it got me thinking back to past attempts at this whole running thing. Because I’m pretty sure one of the things that really held me back was worrying about how I looked while I was running.

I was younger then, and concerned with outward appearances. I compared myself with others and always felt that I came up lacking when it came to athletic ability. I was the kid who HATED field day – coming in last at every event, it seemed.

But now I’m older and wiser, and I love running so much, and I.don’t.care. what I look like when I run. I’m not doing it for onlookers. I’m doing it for me. So, if the way I look when I run makes anyone uncomfortable…well, your problem, not mine. -I’m freakin’ running!

*Sorry no family photos, yet. We had to postpone our session until next week, but I promise to post them as soon as I get them.*

Journey

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4215669914_59f859dd60_zFinally got back out there for a run today. I wasn’t feeling 100%, and honestly, when I woke up this morning, I REALLY didn’t want to go run, but the thought of another day off just didn’t sit well with me. So, I laced up my shoes and went for it.

I love that phrase about lacing up my shoes, but to be really real I have to admit that getting out for a run actually takes me a TON more work. I have to get 3 boys dressed, pack the twins’ bag with extra clothes just in case they have an accident, make and pack lunch for the boys to eat when we leave the Y, pack my water and a post-run snack, lace up my shoes and velcro three more pairs, strap all of us into the van, drive to the Y, get everyone out of their car-seats, drop boys in their respective classrooms, drop my bag in the locker room, and THEN…go for a run.

But anyhoo, once I got out there, I just took it one stride at a time, and I ended up doing 5k in just under 40 minutes! This is close to my best time for the distance, so after a week off everything and not having run a full 5k in weeks, I feel pretty happy with my performance.

The progress I really want to acknowledge today, though, actually has to do with who I have become. In my past, I have gone on diet & exercise programs repeatedly, and each time I eventually went “off plan” as they say. I’d feel excruciatingly guilty as well as completely out of control. But last week when I was sick and ate some foods that weren’t the healthiest (including way too much Halloween candy), I didn’t let it get to me. I just thought, “I know I’m going to get back to running next week, and hey, this is just food, after all.” It’s taken a lot of work, but I think I’m finally starting to make progress in the area of  no longer allowing FOOD to have the power in our relationship. I don’t just think of it as fuel; I do really enjoy tasty foods all the time, BUT it’s not my life anymore. It has no hold over me. I don’t think in terms of “good foods” and “bad foods,” just foods that make me feel good, foods that I can enjoy and also count on having energy for my run later.

The other thing I discovered this week when I was feeling a bit bloated and yucky was that life really is all about the journey. I know it’s a cliche, but truthfully, the destination of a healthy body isn’t a place I’m going to get to and just stop moving. I’m going to be a runner for as long as my body will keep moving. So it’s no big deal if one day I don’t feel super fantastic. It’s just one day. It’s just one speck of my life. As long as I keep moving forward, the good days will outweigh the bad days, and when I look back at them all, I believe I’ll see a life well-lived.

Not who I used to be

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Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011

What a yucky week we’ve had here. Last week I started out so strong, biking and running every day and feeling really good. Then Friday, one of my boys woke up with a cough, so I decided we should stay home and keep everyone else’s kids healthy. Of course, then Monday I woke up with a severe sore throat and congestion along with full body achi-ness.  I’m feeling a bit better now, but everyone in the house has been fighting this crud, so we’ve been effectively benched.

I can’t believe this is who I am now, but a whole week without running has been unbearable! And I must admit I’ve been a little off my game with my eating as well. You know how it is when you’re sick – you just want comfort food. Read the rest of this entry

Running Through Rainbows

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960014_10151896899044706_1688552814_n On Sunday, October 13th I ran The Color Run 5k with some friends. Since we’re all moms of twins, we dubbed our team the “Double Divas,” which we thought was a cute double entendre.

It was fun to actually run with some people for a change, but I must admit I was a bit disappointed in myself.  Since I discovered cycling classes, I’ve slacked off on my regular running, and it became apparent when I started too quick out of the gate and had to slow to a walk a few times throughout the race.  It’s not a timed race, and I didn’t time myself either, since I didn’t want to risk getting color on my phone.  But I think I made pretty decent time: at least under 45. Still, somehow I was left feeling less than good about myself.

Basically, I didn’t really feel all warm and fuzzy like someone who had been running through rainbows and hugging unicorns.  Read the rest of this entry

Flying Free

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20130920-151528.jpgI’ve been eager to get this new tattoo started ever since returning from my trip to Austin for my Joey Jello Memorial Race. Last night we got it started, and I couldn’t be happier. I had originally thought of getting a phoenix to symbolize my new birth from the ashes, but I saw a sketch similar to this with birds carrying a flying elephant, and it just spoke to me.

So many times through this process of learning to run I have felt like an elephant trying to fly, but I have kept going due to the amazing support of my family and friends as well as the memory of Joey’s life-well-lived. The second shot shows my “free bird,” who has dropped his rope and is moving on. I may not have arrived, but I’m so much stronger than I was last year, and I am learning to fly on my own steam, so I’m letting him go. He will always have a place in my heart, but from here, the journey is mine.

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Never Once

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mountain-climber-silhouette2Today, I made it to the bike/run interval class, and… Wow! That was intense. I’m not nearly at the same level of some of those folks, but I feel pretty good with the workout I got out of it.

As with most of my workouts, this was a great time for God to minister to my heart. I really hope I won’t offend any of my followers who may not share my same belief system, but this experience was wrapped up in my grief process, and I can’t leave any of it out if I want to be true to myself. Read the rest of this entry