Tag Archives: weight loss

Nov4

Journey

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4215669914_59f859dd60_zFinally got back out there for a run today. I wasn’t feeling 100%, and honestly, when I woke up this morning, I REALLY didn’t want to go run, but the thought of another day off just didn’t sit well with me. So, I laced up my shoes and went for it.

I love that phrase about lacing up my shoes, but to be really real I have to admit that getting out for a run actually takes me a TON more work. I have to get 3 boys dressed, pack the twins’ bag with extra clothes just in case they have an accident, make and pack lunch for the boys to eat when we leave the Y, pack my water and a post-run snack, lace up my shoes and velcro three more pairs, strap all of us into the van, drive to the Y, get everyone out of their car-seats, drop boys in their respective classrooms, drop my bag in the locker room, and THEN…go for a run.

But anyhoo, once I got out there, I just took it one stride at a time, and I ended up doing 5k in just under 40 minutes! This is close to my best time for the distance, so after a week off everything and not having run a full 5k in weeks, I feel pretty happy with my performance.

The progress I really want to acknowledge today, though, actually has to do with who I have become. In my past, I have gone on diet & exercise programs repeatedly, and each time I eventually went “off plan” as they say. I’d feel excruciatingly guilty as well as completely out of control. But last week when I was sick and ate some foods that weren’t the healthiest (including way too much Halloween candy), I didn’t let it get to me. I just thought, “I know I’m going to get back to running next week, and hey, this is just food, after all.” It’s taken a lot of work, but I think I’m finally starting to make progress in the area of  no longer allowing FOOD to have the power in our relationship. I don’t just think of it as fuel; I do really enjoy tasty foods all the time, BUT it’s not my life anymore. It has no hold over me. I don’t think in terms of “good foods” and “bad foods,” just foods that make me feel good, foods that I can enjoy and also count on having energy for my run later.

The other thing I discovered this week when I was feeling a bit bloated and yucky was that life really is all about the journey. I know it’s a cliche, but truthfully, the destination of a healthy body isn’t a place I’m going to get to and just stop moving. I’m going to be a runner for as long as my body will keep moving. So it’s no big deal if one day I don’t feel super fantastic. It’s just one day. It’s just one speck of my life. As long as I keep moving forward, the good days will outweigh the bad days, and when I look back at them all, I believe I’ll see a life well-lived.

Sep10

Bummer

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20130909-192246.jpgWell, I’m sorry to say I didn’t make it to the running/cycling interval class today. But when your 4-yr old wakes up looking like this, getting to the doc becomes priority number one for the day.

Turns out he has a skin infection on his eye, so we have started antibiotics and hope to see improvement in the next 24 to 48 hours.

I didn’t let myself off the hook for exercise, though. Once I got the boys settled down for their respective naps/quiet time, I threw on my workout clothes and queued up the 30-Day Shred workout. It’s still ridiculously hard, but as with running, I’ve learned to talk myself into FINISHING instead of QUITTING or even SLOWING.

Yep, that’s what it means to NEVER BETRAY.

Sep5

Another goal CRUSHED!

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3f6jtI looked really hard for an epic Morgan Freeman audio file, but just couldn’t find the right thing, so this will have to do.

That’s right, I did it! 5k in 39:38! I know for some runners out there, that probably sounds incredibly slow, but for me that’s a huge improvement. I feel amazing and fierce.

And as usual, I learned some really important lessons on this run. I discovered that I had started phoning it in a bit without really believing in myself and pushing my body to perform. I’d been defeating myself with negativity. It’s so important for me to keep my self-talk positive and to continually remind myself of what I CAN do.

Yesterday’s run was possible because I believed it was. By the time I finished my first mile I was 100% convinced that I would finish in time, and so I did. What I believe about my ability is integral to my performance, and I must never forget that.

“Now FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (KJV)

Sep3

Spinning My Wheels

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1002873_692840057410242_1308072675_nI must confess that I feel a bit as though I’ve been spinning my wheels over the last few weeks. I haven’t gained a bunch of weight or given up on running & exercise, but I just haven’t been wholly committed in the same way that I have been up to now, thus the scale has been immovable. Which adds a bit of sadness in its turn. I know, of course, that the scale isn’t even the reason I’m doing this, but I can’t seem to shake the disappointment of hitting a plateau.

But I can’t quit just because the terrain here isn’t very interesting. I will not betray myself with self-sabotage. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, and eventually, I believe I’ll reach the downhill.

So tomorrow I run, and fast or slow, it’s gonna be epic, as the quote here implies, since every step is taking me closer to my goals. I’d love to take my run to the trails, but unfortunately, that’s not an option, yet. Read the rest of this entry →

Jul17

Scream

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neil-gaiman-quoteSometimes my life is a real scream…like literally. See, there are three little people in my world, and they have all these feelings that they don’t always know how to interpret, and sometimes, despite the fact that they are excellent communicators for their ages, they just can’t tell me what’s wrong, thus the screaming.

Monday was definitely one of those days when words just weren’t working for anybody and nap time couldn’t get here soon enough. And with everyone feeling so out of control, going to the gym just wasn’t happening. And after a weekend of too many “treats,” I was struggling with feeling depressed and completely out of steam.

It’s amazing to me how just going over my calorie goal one or even two days has the ability to make me feel like a failure. It’s kind of ridiculous. We’re talking about a little extra food here. FOOD! It’s a great part of being human, but it should NOT be this powerful in my life.  Read the rest of this entry →

Jul12

Where do I go from here?

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The view from the start of today’s run.

So this blog feels a little like your house the day after that huge party you planned for months. It was great fun, but now it’s over, you’ve cleaned up, and now you just can’t seem to figure out what to do with all the energy you’d previously spent planning.

Of course, my journey isn’t over. Nor is my grief. I have released Joey, said my big goodbye, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving him or missing him. I will always love him. I will always miss him. I will always be a different me without him in the world.

But I do feel like it’s time for this phoenix to rise above the fire & ashes and to fly with my own wings. I want to keep writing because that’s a big part of who I am, and I’ll probably still mention Joe from time to time, but you may see some changes around here as I make NEVER BETRAY more mine. Read the rest of this entry →