What a yucky week we’ve had here. Last week I started out so strong, biking and running every day and feeling really good. Then Friday, one of my boys woke up with a cough, so I decided we should stay home and keep everyone else’s kids healthy. Of course, then Monday I woke up with a severe sore throat and congestion along with full body achi-ness. I’m feeling a bit better now, but everyone in the house has been fighting this crud, so we’ve been effectively benched.
I can’t believe this is who I am now, but a whole week without running has been unbearable! And I must admit I’ve been a little off my game with my eating as well. You know how it is when you’re sick – you just want comfort food. Read the rest of this entry
Joey’s “life is fun” smile
I debated sharing this very personal and very special moment I had Wednesday, but in the end I decided it’s all part of my journey. This blog is about being totally true to myself and sharing myself with my readers, and I can’t claim to “Never Betray” if I hold anything back.
So here goes. I’ve been in a really good place in the grief process over the last few months. I still miss Joey a ton, but I know that living my life well is really my only option. And I feel certain it’s exactly what Joe would want for me. So every day, I purpose to live this day to the best of my ability. I purpose to love on my husband and kids and really invest in them; I get active whenever possible; and I love, love, love people.
I’ve been doing cycle classes pretty regularly for a couple of months now, and it’s a workout I really enjoy. Makes me think I’ll be looking for a good bike in the near future. And my fave instructor had played this song I just love a while back. It’s called Alive by Kim Walker (Jesus Culture).
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Joey Jello on right
Since my latest tattoo, a person who cares a lot about me mentioned their concern that people would judge me because of my tattoos. Because of who this was, I knew that this concern was real and not a roundabout way of saying that this person was judging me. And I understood the concern because I remember thinking something similar when Joey showed up with the words NEVER BETRAY backwards on his neck – all I could think was that so many people would miss out on knowing my awesome brother because they would write him off as soon as they saw ink on his neck.
But then Joey died, and all these amazing people, many of whom had ink from head to toe and dressed and lived so differently from me, came out of the woodwork it seemed and cared for me and my family as though we were their family. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve been eager to get this new tattoo started ever since returning from my trip to Austin for my Joey Jello Memorial Race. Last night we got it started, and I couldn’t be happier. I had originally thought of getting a phoenix to symbolize my new birth from the ashes, but I saw a sketch similar to this with birds carrying a flying elephant, and it just spoke to me.
So many times through this process of learning to run I have felt like an elephant trying to fly, but I have kept going due to the amazing support of my family and friends as well as the memory of Joey’s life-well-lived. The second shot shows my “free bird,” who has dropped his rope and is moving on. I may not have arrived, but I’m so much stronger than I was last year, and I am learning to fly on my own steam, so I’m letting him go. He will always have a place in my heart, but from here, the journey is mine.
Today, I made it to the bike/run interval class, and… Wow! That was intense. I’m not nearly at the same level of some of those folks, but I feel pretty good with the workout I got out of it.
As with most of my workouts, this was a great time for God to minister to my heart. I really hope I won’t offend any of my followers who may not share my same belief system, but this experience was wrapped up in my grief process, and I can’t leave any of it out if I want to be true to myself. Read the rest of this entry
SInce I didn’t make it to Monday’s bike/run/bike class, I decided to pick up a spin class today and see what I could do. This was my second ever cycling class and my first attempt had been so painful, I doubted a repeat performance would occur. But I’m SO glad I gave it another try.
This was one of the most strenuous workouts I’ve done, but also the most invigorating. Part of it, I’m sure was the instructor and her way of encouraging and inspiring me to push myself further. Read the rest of this entry
As I sit down to write, my whole being wants to mourn. But I can’t do that. Because I love Joey, and celebrating life was his reason for being. So that’s what I choose to do today – celebrate the life of Joey Jello. For my newer readers, this is the life that inspired me to take charge of mine. Joey Jello is my brother, and I will always love him.
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